Lightning always strikes me twice.

I watched Ed take another mouthful of tea. He was a nice enough guy, and had been quick enough to praise the scone I offered him, baked by my mother - a habit she picked up in rehab. Meths is an awful thing. However, one thing always bothered me about Ed - he believed he was being persecuted by Zeus. His reasons for this varied according to the amount of tonic water Ed'd drunk and the weather conditions, but his most common retort was that the pair had fallen out over a $10 bill, or that Ed had sided with the Titans and attempted to free them from Tartarus. Whatever the reasons, Ed was adamant the Greek deity was out to get him. Suddenly, I realised I'd been inner monologuing while Ed talked again. I tried to catch up.
 "... pretending to sell double-glazing. Well, I saw through his ruse, and send him away. But, he smote my house with lightening! He's gone to far this time! What was the name of that God Marcus used to use when he got in trouble?"
 "Yahweh," I sighed, "But Gods don't work like that, you know. You can't just..."
 "Nah, it won't be a problem. I'll see if Marcus's guy can help me sort out Zeus."
I paused for a second. Frankly, this was a more ridiculous conversation that usual, and I had no idea where it was going. I decided to stop now. Bidding Ed a good day, I got my coat and left. I don't care if it's my house, he can have it. I'm going to Mars. This planet is far to stupid.