I return to you! Thank you for waiting, loyal disciples. Or whatever...
Anyway, my exams are over. Never again shall I learn Scottish History, tourism or metaphysics. Even if I need to learn areas of them again, I won't study them. Well, I'm a student, so it's not like I would have studied them anyway. But this means I'm free for the future, so I should be able to enliven your dull lives with my exciting exploits, and tales of bears. That rhymes. But I digress...
So, its Summer. For me anyway. It's raining, but what the hell. Theoretically, the three-month break I have now should entail me finding a job. It seems like a good idea, anyway. Unless anyone wants to send me money. Hint, hint...
But suddenly, I got brilliant news! Jobs, bah! Who needs them, when such brilliant, genuine e-mails as this arrive:
"To Hjkhkh Hkjhkh
Are you still at hjkhkh?
You may be eligible to receive upto 71,019 GBP in government money that you would NEVER HAVE TO REPAY.
Complete your application at [a website, obviously]"
Strangely, I don't ever recall living in hjkhkh. But I'm sure it is just lovely there. Anyway, all I need to do know is sit back and wait for my £71,019 to arrive. I may buy a horse, and put a dress on it.