I had heard worrying news, dear readers: Over on the relaunched Parody Files, they claim to use the phrase "fire-spewing" more than any other blog. Being my annoying self, I intent to challenge them on this. Of course, there are several flaws to this masterful, entirely necessary plan.
1) I'm lazy. So very lazy.
2) I'm easily distracted, sidetracked, and bribed. As such, I have already forgotten the start of this blog
3) Seriously. I don't remember what I was talking about, and I'm too lazy to re-read one paragraph.
4) Was it about Starlings? I think it may have been...
5) OK, I hired a homeless man to re-read the blog to me, and I'm back on track. My third 5th problem is that they have 5 writers to my one. They may also be funnier than me, but I was too lazy to read their bios, so they could be unfunny, or tinpot dictators. This leaves me at a distinct disadvantage. But really, who cares. I'm not serious, I'm just being a dick about strangers.
If anyone wishes to issue me a challenge over the use of words, I accept!
Oh, and can someone send help? The tramp is still here. He keeps winking at me and rubbing his nipples... I hope he doesn't breath fire...