"Think for yourself"

That's what we're always told. However, what's the alternative?

Why... Thinking for other people, of course!

Hi, I'm Paul Blanchard, founder of Thinkfast Industries. How often have you found yourself unable to efficiently think?
Class or workroom tests - failed due to an inability to work out the right answer!
A potential relationship left floundering - due to your inability to think of a witty line or compliment!
A relationship ruined - simply because you can't think of an excuse as to why you're wearing your wife's best hat and silk lingerie to entertain the vicar!

Here at Thinkfast Industries, we want to make these embarrassing failures a thing of the past. We employ 200 of the country's thinkers to help you out! Simply call us up, and let one of our unqualified experts do your thinking for you!
For only £49.95, success is guaranteed within days of calling! So, what have you to lose?
Call up today, and soon you could win the girl or guy of your dreams with heartfelt thoughts about the sky, or tell your mother-in-law what you really think about her soup without hurting her feelings!
So, call today. Success guaranteed! Or your money back!

(Unhappy? No problem. Simply send your letter of complaint, the reference code of your assigned thinker, and a check or postal order for £52 processing charge to our main office!)

So remember: Thinkfast today, or you could die painfully tommorow!