Monday, 22 June 2009

I'm broke.

The entrance to a badger Sett. I took this pho...Image via Wikipedia So I've launched a new business.
My last plan (kidnapping adorable baby animals and ransoming them back to their parents) failed due to the sheer stupidity of the whole thing. Furthermore, my remaining funds were wasted on a petty vendetta with a cete of vicious badgers - I am at a loss as to who sold them automatic weaponry, but it was probably America. The landmass itself, not the people. Being French (...) I know better than to judge a whole county on a stereotype.
Anyhow, to cut a long story short - even a good story with animals and anthrax bombs - I have adopted an entirely new business strategy. In fact, it's so different from my usual business plans that you may think I've been replaced by two very crafty midgets in my clothes.
Here we go:

I have your grandmother. Send me money or I'll plant a badger cub in her handbag and throw her into the nearest sett. There's up to 15 badgers in there, so you'd better be quick with the money.
I will carry this plan out in the Autumn, when the average badger will weigh 11-12 Kilograms.

I hope you've all learned something interesting about badgers here...
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2 comments:

Todd X. said...

Is "cete of vicious badgers" redundant? Love that you used the word, though.

Paul Blanchard said...

Well, Cete is a also Portuguese parish of the municipality of Paredes. I didn't want the risk of people thinking Portugal was overrun with badgers...

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