Thursday 11 June 2009

It was around 7,

and I was not expecting visitors. However - and whoever they were - they were insistently hammering my door. I decided it would be best to find out what they wanted.
Upon opening the door, I was greeted by an unfamiliar site. I looked closely, and found it was several fish of different sizes, in an old-fashioned diving costume full of water. They nodded curtly as one, handed me an official looking envelope, and barged into the house. Before I had a chance to open the letter, a team of deer pulling a wheelbarrow of rubbish came arrived. I followed them into my living room, where they had already ripped up the carpet. As I watched, the emptied the rubbish into my floorboards, before replacing the carpet over it.
I mounted the small, carpeted mound in the middle of my room, noting sadly that it would obscure my vision of the television when I was sitting on the sofa. Now that things were calmer, I opened the letter. Apparently, nature had decided to clean up.
I didn't get any further before I became aware of running water. Rushing to the bathroom, I found the fish had flooded the room, and were frolicking happily. I left the house, and headed down the street. First, I would get a new toaster, then I'd sort them out...

Behind, two bears revered a truck up to the wall, and proceeded to dump a load of nuclear waste through my kitchen window.

Remember kids, don't fuck with nature.

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