|This isn't what I was going to buy...|
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I watched as the assistant reached under the counter and fetched a broom. Reaching out with the broom, he began to poke an elderly figure sleeping in the corner of the store. He was an odd-looking fellow, lanky - if such a word can be used on the elderly - and who looked a little like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, if he was 60 and wearing a shirt.
"Whut? Wuu..." He scream-mumbled, "You're... you are fat and ugly. Merry Christmas!"
I left the store. I did not, you may have guessed, buy a Christmas Card. I might go back next year. With any luck, Tim'll be dead by then...