Sunday, 7 February 2010

There's a stall outside my house...

Early this morning, I noticed them setting it up - 4 or 5 gnomes, in little gnome suits and hats, with a truck. The stall looks like your typical American child's Lemonade stall: it's wooden, crudely made, and has a little sign nailed on top. It differs, however, in regard to its contents: while a lemonade stall sells lemonade, and homemade bacterial infections, this stall lacked lemons, products derived from lemons, or even yellow coloured water pretending to feature lemons. What there was, was a huge pile of jam. Well, jams to be more correct - lots of different flavours and colours of jams, piled up next to the stall.
 After lunch, I went out to see what was going on. The gnomes told me it was a pick'n'mix stall, and I could pick my own jams and fill a bag to take home. I explained that I liked jam that A)I knew the flavour of, and B)wasn't sold off a big pile outside. I also explained they were in my front garden. They took this badly, throwing handfuls of jam at me until I retreated into the house.
The joke's on them though - even now, a huge swarm of wasps is descending on their stall, ripping them limb from limb. Remember this, dear reader - Never cross me!

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