OK, you've all been on My Life Is Average, haven't you? You know, that site where people post things about how there day was average? Average things being, of course, exciting in modern, high-speed life... Well, I'm angry... These people's posts aren't, on average, average. To me, the idea of an average day would be "Today, I had beans on toast", or "Today, I worked 8 hours at a job I hate, and had a sandwich for lunch". See, that's not funny, it's bland and commonplace. It's not my average day, because that features more vodka and less work, but that doesn't matter. But instead of such blandities, they have stories such as, "Today, I remembered when I was kidnapped by a mad scientist. He replaced my inside organs with a machine that bred ferrets, and my left arm with a cannon that fired the ferrets at PTA members." (I'm lying, I made that up.) Anyway, the point is, a life about averages should, if accurate, only appeal to people with a number fetish: it should be boring, like life. The only interesting things in life that are commonplace are runaway pianos, and they usually kill a lot of people.
Pianos are evil, I think that was the point I was trying to make...
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