that I didn't have a mouth. After 14 minutes of trying to spoon soup into the flat area of face under my nose, I looked in the mirror and felt that this sentence was long and badly written. I also thought, "I have no mouth".
I apologise - Its early, and I'm feeling the effects of a bottle of vodka... Just get to the joke, get it over with...
Panicking, I ran from the house and drove to Max's. The door quickly yielded to my frantic knocking, as Max - resplendent in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts combo entirely unsuitable for the time of year - appeared. I noticed the flash of alarm when he obviously noticed my lack of mouth, but when he said nothing, I began to frantically point to my face.
He looked at me, only just restraining laughter:
"What's wrong?" Come on..." He chuckled, "Spit it out! Cat got your..." But now he was on his knees, in floods of laughter. I waited a few minutes, then hit him with a lamp.
If you're reading this, please send an ambulance to his house.