Friday, 2 December 2011

The Letters' page

This is not the letter I received.
Via Wikipedia
I haven't written in a while. I've actually started working on an elaborate lie to justify my asbcence, but first, I feel I must reply to one of the many items of fan mail I've received here in the DITWP mail box.
 The letter, authored by a man who may be familiar to readers of this blog, sexual deviants and fans of the handwritten everywhere, is as follows:

 Dear Paul,

 it has been some time since The last time I crafted you a lovely handwritten letter, so I Thought now would be as much of a good time as any.

 For the most part I have been avoiding your blog of mystery and confusion, since it provides me with mental problems whenever I do. However, it comes to my attention That you are growing a moustache for "Movember"

 This is an interesting feat! Here is a demonstrative image of what I would like to see.

 (As you can probably tell, I don't have a scanner. Anyway, imagine a hand-drawn picture of a moustache, a little thicker on the left than the right, curling at the end.)

 ... but preferably more even. This is of utmost importance to The success of your mission. I will accept no substitute ~

 I look forward to reading your response.

 Regards, Neil.

(Fans of this letter can see Neil's original contribution to this blog here)

Obviously, this letter comes from the past. That is to say, Neil gave it to me a while ago and I've been too busy to transcribe it. I grew a moustache. It was disappointing, and I shaved it off today, as it is no longer November. (You can see it here, and laugh at me, if you want. I think you can still sponsor me - the moustache fights cancer). So now, I shall craft Neil a letter as charming as it is flammable.


Doug Stephens said...

That was truly a terrible mustache. I am allowed to make fun of yours because mine are never any better. So ha! And no, I'm not going to show you a picture of one of my attempts - that would just be silly.

Paul Blanchard said...

It wasn't a good moustache, I'll admit. But it was my first attempt, and maybe I'll do better in seven years when November comes 'round again.
To be fair to you, it's pretty rare to see a stick-figure with a moustache. Or am I just engaging in racial profiling again?

Doug Stephens said...

We stick people are an ethnic group, not a race. Why can't people ever get that right?

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