|Family Christmas Portrait, 2011|
This is actually incorrect. I would not be offended if you were to buy me a Christmas present. In fact, I'm not even a rhododendron. I don't know how these rumours start.
Actually, I know exactly how these rumours start. I spread them. I spread them like lying butter over a slice of gullible bread, sometimes coating them with a layer of jam if I so desire. The jam isn't part of the metaphor. I just like jam. In fact, that's what you could get me for Christmas.
That or some new pruning shears.