Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The rain falls hard on a humdrum town

Mortal Kombat II
Keithe, a plumber.
Image via MK Wiki
 This town has dragged you down. Oh, the rain... Well, you get the point. Outside, rain fell from the skies, as is customary in such occasions, cutting the air open and bombarding my azaleas. A woodpecker, bedazzled by nature in all her finery, staggered through the air and rounded the corner of my house. Man versus nature is an old tale; an unwinnable battle that neither of us can win. Except  me. I've written an advert, you see.

 Actually, you probably don't see. That's fair enough; after all, I was talking in a somewhat cryptic fashion. Forgive me please, dear reader. I have appealed, you must understand, for an intervention. I've called for a deity to help me against the weather. Through the classified ads in my local paper.

The doorbell rang. You're probably shocked, loyal readers, that it didn't ring at the start of this tale. That's what usually happens around here. I answered, it would be rude not to.

 There was a man on the doorstep. There always is. 7 foot tall, pale and dressed in white robes with blue vest and cape. A coolie hat sat upon his head, the brow hanging above his glowing, blue eyes.

 "Hey, I'm Keith. I'm here about your water problem." he stated matter-of-factly

 "Keith? You're Raiden, aren't you? From Mortal Kombat? You're Raiden the Thunder God."

 "Nah, you must be thinking of someone else." He replied. "Keith, Keith McGregor. I'm a plumber"

 "Ok then, how'll you stop the rain then? If you're just a plumber, and not a thunder god?"

 "Ah, you've got me there!" Raiden replied. "I'm actually Raiden, from the Mortal Kombat series."

 "Yea," I replied. "I said that earlier. Now would you please stop the rain?"

 "Nah, can't do that mate." He replied. "I can just do lightning-based things. I can teleport too. Want to go and get some pizza or something?"

 I shook my head sadly and went back inside. Through the window, I saw flashes of lighting illuminate the night sky, scaring a passing sparrow. A thunderclap reverberated through the house.

 That probably scared the sparrow too.

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