Friday, 3 June 2011


scaffolding                                     Image via WikipediaThe scaffolding, I noted happily, had been erected. I paused to titter to myself, first at the word "erected", then at  the word "titter" itself, before continuing my approach. What I was approaching was the team of workmen who should have been building my extension.

 They were stood around lazily. Is that a sentence? Don't care. Anyway, the were lazily standing around the base of the scaffolding, cleaning themselves and meowing, as they were prone to do. Since I was already in the mood for approaching things, I approached the foreman. He turned towards me, pausing with his tongue outstretched towards his also outstretched leg.


 "Look, I'm sorry. I know you're trying your best," I began. "But look, you're just not getting the job done, are you? I mean, it's been a month since you started work here, and you've only just got the scaffolding up."

 The foreman took no notice, and started to rub his head against my leg.

 "And I gave you an advanced payment last week - you said you needed to buy materials straight away. But there's nothing been done since then. Except - and I don't wish to point fingers - there's a lot of empty tuna cans around here, that's all."

 The foreman, having lost interest, wandered off and started to scratch a tree. Exasperated, I turned and stormed off towards my car. Frankly, I was annoyed. The workmen were proving to be hideously inefficient, and the fact they kept pretending to be cats was just infuriating. I wish I'd hired actual cats instead. Or maybe a half-cat, half human-pretending-to-be-cat team. I think that would be the best of both worlds.

 I forget where this was leading...
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