Thursday, 15 July 2010
Max is out of the closet.
"Why were you late back then?"
He looked at me, big puppydog eyes wide and big like the eyes of a puppydog:
"Tried to leave. Had to run away, so I went to sea..."
He started to sob again.
"What?... What happened?"
"Came ashore, we all went to the pub. Drank a little to much, and passed out. I got press-ganged!"
"What? Onto another ship?"
"No!" He went on, "Into the fruit and veg trade!"
Max talked long into the night, his story punctuated only by sobs and explosive vomiting. I gathered, at last, that he had awoken to find himself chained to a stall in the East End of London. There, he was forced to fake an accent, and sell fruit and veg in the persona of a lovable cockney rogue. Understandably, the experience had been rather traumatic on poor Max.
However, it isn't all bad. His experience seems to have gained him a new job, cameoing on Eastenders. I think he's going to play a carrot.