Thursday 22 July 2010

I was naked, rubbing myself all over.

I was in the shower, you see. This isn't going to be an erotic post, I've only opened with the shower thing so you know why it was Max, still in my house for reasons unknown, as usual, who answered the door and not me. After the first few seconds of continuing my relaxing wash, the thought of Max talking to, well, anyone who could call on me solidified in my head. Rushing from the shower in an cloud of steam and soap, I grabbed a towel and headed for the door.

 Norman checked his Ohmmeter. Yup, he had everything. Swinging happily from the van, clipboard in front of him for a final check of name and address, he headed up the drive to the house. This was his last stop for the day - just get the meter readings, then he was off to France for a long weekend. Whistling happily, he strolled up to the house and rung the doorbell. After a few moments, the door opened a crack to reveal a figure within, peering at Norman with distrust. Norman, undeterred, began.
 "Afternoon Sir, here to read the meter."
The figure within narrowed his eyes.
 "The Agency sent you?"
 "Well, if that's what you want to call them." Norman replied.
 "General X sent you? To bring me back in?"
 "No." Norman replied again. This wasn't normal. "Mr. Patel, for your meter readings."
After a pause, he gestured his tools, and added hopefully, "The electricity?"
 Seeing his toolbelt, Max recoiled in horror.
 "Torture devices!" He yelled, "I told them I quit! QUIT! You'll never make me go back!"

Soap still lathering me, I skidded into the hallway, rushing for the front door. On the doorstep, Max appeared to be garroting an electrician with his belt, while the confused man flailed at him with a screwdriver. As I tried to figure out what to do, a van pulled up on my front lawn, unnoticed by the struggling Max. Two suited, shaded figures emerged and crossed the lawn quickly. Leaning close to Max's ear, one whispered something about being sent by General X. Stabbing Max in the back with a taser, the Man in Black dragged him into the van. The other suit stuffed a wad of notes into the pocket of the electrician.
 "You didn't see anything." He instructed.
With that, he returned to the van, and drove off swiftly. The electrician did likewise. I returned to the shower. It was safe there...

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