when I found Max on my doorstep. He was huddled in a ball, clutching a potted plant and giggling. Throwing a cursory glace around, I reached out and pulled him into the house.
"You know," I started, trying to snatch the plant out of his hands, "This isn't what you're meant to do at all."
Shrugging, Max took another bite at the plant, ripping off leaves and stalk in one go.
"Seems to be working." He muttered.
He did appear to be right, of course. He was clearly stoned off his ass, which probably explained why he kept taking bites out of his cannabis plant. Wandering from the room long enough to fetch a UV lamp, I returned to find him heartily eating my cat food. Frankly, I was annoyed: Not only was he taking my stuff once again, but I had been saving that catfood for dinner.
With a minimal amount of effort, I wrestled his foliage from him and inspected it. Looking closer at the plant, I realised it was a fern. Once again, Max had been duped. This didn't surprise me: He had one of those faces. You know, the ones you want to hit with a snowplow. Like Hitler.
I feel this story should have led to some sort of punchline. I'm sorry it didn't really. But, I suppose Hitler was funny...
Actually, no. No he wasn't. Shame on all of you!