Bear naked.

I took another look at the two figures on my doorstep. They were obviously bears - probably the same bears that usually terrorise me, they all look the same - but, over their hulking form and hairy bodies, they had donned disguises. Well, not good disguises: I couldn't tell, but I think they were meant to be Chuck Norris. Or maybe Hermione Norris. They were pretty ambiguous disguises.
 I stood looking at them. They didn't look back, instead shuffling their feet and looking at the sky or the ground. After a while, I asked what they wanted. The larger of the two looked at, taking a swipe at me with his claw. When I woke up, I was in the back of a truck, driving across bumpy terrain. Or flat terrain, covered in the elderly. Whichever it was, it didn't make for a comfortable journey.
 I don't know where they're taking me. I just hope it's not Italy. I can't go back there, the Mafia are after me.