Around me, I could make out vague figures in the shadows. They seemed to be moving towards me, in short, shuffled steps. At first, I assumed they could see as poorly as me in the smog, as they bumped into each other and fell over obstacles hidden in the shadows. However, with a minute my eyes had adjusted, and my captors still bumbled aimlessly. They were terrifying creatures, in principle: Large, man-like beasts with long stouts, whiskers and tiny, worthless eyes. Mole People! Sneaking from their sewers, these underground Morlocks had disguised themselves as the London Philharmonic Orchestra to lure me from my home, and drag me to their lair. Now, unfortunately, the joke was beginning to wear thin.
After 3 days without food or water - they kept spilling it - I decided to escape. Really, it wasn't hard: They had done a poor job of tying me up, and I just had to be quiet to avoid the guards. When, eventually, they noticed my escape, defeating them was easy: I just tripped them up.
Climbing out of their tunnels, I felt the sweet embrace of sunshine once more. Behind me, the mole people shuffled fearfully, unwilling to enter the sunlight, waiting for the darkness they loved so much. To be safe, I got a spade and flattened their molepersonhills, and returned home.
I'm glad to be free, but the little buggers totally ruined my lawn...