Tuesday, 26 October 2010

A brief interlude into the real world...

Since I made reference to it over on Weeding out the Idiots, I thought I would present you - my loyal readers - with some choice selections of the many things people have googled to find my blog. Some nice, normal people appear to have stumbled on it accidently while searching for Giant Jenga. I did a post on the subject some time ago, so that at least makes some sense. Here are some of the more unfortunate searches:
    A tick-box.
    Not really like a list at all...
    Image via Wikipedia

  • hating seagulls is like being racist or homophobic (A good start, wrote a post about that, makes sense.)
  • water pipe in blogspot (Well, not too bad)
  • hungry hungry hobos (Again, not awful. Did use that as a title for a post)
Then things get worse:
  • 4D porn (Well, again, I did use that in a blog)
  • 4D dog porn (Ah... Oh dear)
  • Dog waterpipe porn (Hmm...)
  • any combination of the words "dog" and "porn" with other words that you care to imagine.
  • Lord of the Rings porn
Here are some phrases no-one used. They will now attract twisted, sick individuals:
  •  Hobbit waterpipe gangbang
  • Naked jam-covered dog
  • Fecesbook
  • midget hire
  • mime buggering badgers
  • Ben Tyson
This concludes my list-based post. As you can tell, it has been a rousing success. Even now, I can hear the townsfolk shouting up at by gilded bedroom, demanding more.
 "Give us statistics!" They yell.
 "Let them eat pie-charts" I reply from within my corset.

Why not suggest your own 'searches you'd like to see'? I'll republish them here, and I promise I won't tell your mum what they say.
 Some entries:
  • hobbit humping dog pipe! (Homemaker Man)
  • Dog getting piped in the water! (Homemaker Man)
  • Lord of the Things (Homemaker Man)
  • Araporn and the dog banging hobbits (Homemaker Man)
  • Paul Blanchard wanker (Ben Tyson)
  • dog on acid sex (Ben Tyson)
  • I love the KKK (Ben Tyson)
  • Hulk dog sex (Ben Tyson)
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Ben Tyson said...

Hoi! On the plus side, I'll be able to find out if anyone is internet-stalking me...

Homemaker Man said...

hobbit humping dog pipe!

Dog getting piped in the water!

Lord of the Things

Araporn and the dog banging hobbits

I'm helpful

Paul Blanchard said...

No Ben, no-one would Internet stalk you. Because you smell. Take that!
Thanks HM, I'll add those to the list... Lord knows what sick, twisted individuals like you it will attract though...

Ben Tyson said...

I have suggestions!:

Paul Blanchard wanker

dog on acid sex

I love the KKK (you know anyone searching for this is going to be nice...)

Hulk dog sex

I think that'll probably do for now.

Ben Tyson said...

You should probably talk less about porn and sex...

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