I fell on the bus today, and the scissors are now embedded in my head. I'm unsure if the right action is to pull them out or leave them in. Right now, they seem to be stopping the bleeding, but look bloody stupid. Perhaps I should invest in a hat.
Or a wig. With accompanying fake moustache... This'll keep me busy for days!
One thing's for certain - I'm not going to a doctor. They'll just ask why I ran with the scissors, like they know better.
Fascists.