Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Truth be told, this isn't the best medium to tell you about my superhero team. It should be a comic, or at the least, a badly adapted live-action film. In fact, even a cartoon suitable for 5-10 year olds would be better. However, I lack artistic skills, and my budget won't stretch to hiring professional actors. Anyhow, I'll soldier on as best I can.

Hero: The Trashman
By day, a mild-mannered trashman. By night, a mild-mannered hero dressed as a trashman.
Special Abilities: Can operate a bin lorry. Can list all public holidays that clash with rubbish collection.
Catchphrase: I'm taking out the garbage! And also you. Because you are akin to garbage
(There were worries that the first sentence -the original phrase - was too vague, and would cause confusion)

Hero: The Mime
Dressed in traditional mime garb, this fearless hero silently fights street crime.
Special Abilities: Can summon invisible walls to hinder enemies. Will never give away information. Can seamlessly merge into a crowd
Catchphrase: (He's miming it)

Hero: Thug The Terrifying
During the day, Conrad Brown is a boring accountant. However, every second Thursday night, he is overcome by a rush of testosterone and becomes a neolithic caveman.
Special Abilities: Cannot operate a telephone. Hits things with a club. Fights Dinosaurs, even though they didn't coexist.
Catchphrase: Ugg? Me Cliche...

Originally, Dr Bruce Banner was going to join us. However, we couldn't see what use he would be. When we asked him about his super-powers, he said we wouldn't like him when he's angry. However, the mime signed that we didn't like him anyway, and he left in a strop. I feel sorry for him, but he wouldn't have been much use. Not like the Incredible Hulk, who joined last week. To make him different from Thug, We've dressed Hulk in a suit and taught him Received Pronunciation.

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