Saturday, 22 August 2009

Coffee and Prejudice.

Having found an empty table, I sat down and took a sip of coffee. On reflection, I didn't like coffee, and had no idea why I'd ordered it. But, I had paid, so I'd damn well finish it.
As I reached this revelation, I also noticed a couple enter the coffee shop and sit near the window. They caught my attention primarily because they were dressed in 18th or 19th century periodic clothing. The pair looked slightly agitated, checking their watches - concealed in their costumes - and looking around, at the door and the nearby street. Therefore, I assumed they were waiting for someone. Presently, the man turned with a sigh, and said to the woman:
"Right, he's late. Let's just get on with it."
Settling back, I prepared to see what exactly it was...

"My dear Mr. Bennet," said the lady to him suddenly, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"
'Mr. Bennet' jumped, seemingly startled by the dialogue. Composing himself, he replied that he had not.
"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."
'Mr. Bennet' made no answer.
"Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his 'wife' impatiently.
"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."
Suddenly, a man rushed into the shop. He was obviously flustered, and somewhat nervous. Running his hand through his hair, then down his face to a small goatee, he approached the table.
" Sorry. Sorry, sorry sorry." He offered, spreading his hands out widely, "So sorry..."
Then, in a booming voice, he continued;
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man..."
"Colin..." The man seated interrupted, "We've started. Do try to keep up. You're not voicing Mr. Men anymore."

I watched them continue for a few more minutes, but started to feel awkward. Most of the other customers had started to slowly slip out the door, offering polite smiles to the thespians as they passed by. Deciding I couldn't finish the coffee after all, I threw it over Colin, along with the remains of a muffin.
Later, the police arrested me. They got the wrong man, if you ask me. If anything, I was the injured party.

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