I placed the bucket carefully on top of the door, and retreated behind the sofa, giggling. A few moments later, I heard the familiar thuds of someone pounding my door in an attention-grabbing manner.
"Come in," I called cheerfully.
A heavyset bald figure stepped towards the door, looking around furtively.
"Hey, you're not who I was waiting for," I yelled. It was true, my hilarious practical joke on Great Aunt Martha was about to be ruined by a Phil Mitchell lookalike.
As I watched, the bucket descended onto his head, spilling it's liquidy contents evenly across the intruder.
"No," he replied, "I'm here to burgle your house." Then, after a pause, "Hey, this isn't water!"
"No, it's petrol, it's part of the prank."
Well, it seemed a shame to let it go to waste, so I threw a match at the would-be burglar.
It's sad to see celebrities fall on hard times. Only last week, I had to help Robbie Williams chase rats out of his council house.