If so, please hand yourself into your local police station. The police force has enough to do without having to chase after the likes of you. Similarly, if you are planning to commit a crime, please don't. If you did, we would have to waste time and money arresting you. To pay for this, someone would have to increase taxes, meaning your dear old mum would be hit hard.
To give Police Officers a bit of a break over the festive season, I would advise as many of you as possible to take the law into your own hands. This would save both the police and the wider judicial system some work.
So remember: If in doubt, form a lynch mob!
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