When going on holiday...

Never give the shifty-looking man down the street a set of keys so he can check your mail.
Bastard stole my house. But, there amongst the mud and foundations, just where the path abruptly ends at what used to be my front door, he left a copy of Reader's Digest.

Does that still come out? They always annoyed me, but they did some good books on stuff. I think i have one on world history somewhere...