Monday, 29 September 2008

Coffee and colds

I sneezed again. Bloody cold. In fact, only 5 minutes ago, Max had commented on how pale and deathly - i know - i looked, to which i replied "bloody cold".

Anyway, we continued sipping coffee and generally sitting around the table in the small coffee shop. We seemed deep in thought, and the peace of early morning coffee drinking was only punctuated by my sneezes. As we sat in this gloomy silence, we both took to simultaneously staring out of the window, despondent but with a vague glimmer of hope in our eyes. Our hope was rewarded when a car, appearing from nowhere, mounted the kerb and pulled up sharply in front of the cafe. I noted it was blocking the side alley, despite clear warnings not to, but this didn't seem the time to complain. As we watched, a man jumped from the car, cocking a handgun, and ran into the cafe.

"hey!" exclaimed Max excitedly, "isn't that Ross Kemp?"
The man looked nothing like Ross Kemp, and to be honest, i don't see why Ross Kemp would have to resort to robbing cafes. However, i felt charitable, and replied it could be.

"hands up!" He yelled "The next person to move, or even talk, gets shot!"
To be honest, it wasn't the most impressive speech I'd ever heard, but bless him for trying. I sneezed, sadly.

"Oh!" He exclaimed - he seemed very excitable, "A wise guy, aye? Well, let's see how smart you are now! You're dead buddy!"
He raised the gun and fired at me. Fortunately, i chose that moment to sneeze again, and as my head sank into my hands, the bullet sored over my head and bounced off the wall, hitting him in the leg. With a yell, he dropped down. Alerted to the sound of sirens in the distance, he turned and tried to run out of the cafe. A police car swerved in front of him, and he was quickly restrained.
As he was dragged off, he once again shouted out to me:
"You're a dead man! you're dead... dead!"
"Can we get an autograph?" Max yelled back. I should really talk to him sometime.
"Dead! Dead, dead, dead!" He yelled, again. Not very original, is it?

I would be worried there could be some repercussions, but he seemed pretty certain i was a zombie.
Hopefully my cold will clear up soon.

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