I sat down, wobbled the mouse lightly, and looked sadly at the sketchy outlines of my essay. Well, it was a start, I suppose. It was quite literally a start: the title, and fourteen words down, 1,986 to go. Could be worse.
I began to psych myself up to start, shaking my hands and roaring and the like in a businesslike fashion. I stretched out my hands, reaching for the keyboard...

Tragically, I sprayed Cillit Bang in my eyes a few moments later. It was just so tempting.
despite the shouty man on TV, it cleans fuck all. My sink, my pennies, TV, grandmother, car and Venereal disease ridden whore are still dirty.