I returned from the shops at last. It was quite an ordeal, but I won't go into that. Opening the door, my (they're still fictitious) wife greeted me somewhat sternly:
"4 days you've been gone. God, you were only getting a copy of The Pianist and some cat food." She tutted somewhat, then continued: "And you have neither, did you eat the DVD again?"
"No." I replied, "There were Tictacs in the car. But I was away a long time... You know how you always wanted a diamond necklace? Well, I got you a bear!"
Tragically, it mauled my other half and she left me shortly afterwards. The bear fell in love with my neighbour Jonas, and moved in with him. I still see them from time to time, even though they moved to Dublin.
That's around 4 now, methinks. Can't be bothered checking...