The doorbell rang, it's metallic chime signalling to all the world - that chose to inhabit my dining room - that someone was at the door. Of course, i regretted buying the bloody thing now.
When i felt that the man at the door - definitely a man, for i had taken a sneaky glance at him out of the kitchen window - was growing bored, i opened the door flamboyantly, and welcomed him like an old friend.
" Ah, good day Sir," he started "May i interest you in an exciting, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
"But how rude of me! Joshua Johnson, of Johnson and McKay?"
I didn't understand the question, but i nodded politely. He continued:
"Now, how would you like to have all the windows in your house replaced... absolutely free!"
I told him i would like this very much. After all, who wouldn't?
"Great," he continued, "Then we can do the next best thing! We can replace all of your windows... for only £2,000 - £3,000, following a thorough evaluation!"
I showed him into the kitchen and offered him a seat at the table, where he proceeded to produce the relevant paperwork. While he did this, i cut up my freshly baked cherry pie, and offered him a slice. As he ate it, i slipped away, under the guise of fetching a pen.
I locked myself in the bathroom and called the police. No-one touches my pie!