Monday, 15 November 2010

Clowning around

Mayfest Parade I'd hoped for an easy Clown Mafia related task to pay off my debt. You know, sorting out the make-up on Clown Sonny's face before his mother saw him, or standing outside a hospital with one hand in my coat as if I had a concealed pie or something. But no, I had been dragged straight into a war with a local Mime family, who apparently controlled all the slapstick crime in the East side. No-one ever explained what exactly had an east side controlled by mimes, but I assumed it was the faintly ridiculous city I found myself in.

 Starting out low, I carried out small tasks to harm the rival families. Not being part of the family, I quickly gained access to the corrupt police chief in the Mimes' pay, hiding a whoopie cushion under his seat and pouring a vase of water over his head.

Suddenly, things took a rather unfortunate and unhilarious turn. The ClownDon sent Luca Brasier - his bra-wearing enforcer - to find out the Mime's plans. The next day, his over-sized shoes arrived in our office, a fish cemented into each. It was an old Clowning message apparently. Luca's over-sized trousers were filled with yellow cement, and his body dropped into a river. There, he would have to create balloon animals to amuse passing fish, who would bring him oxygen in return, until his balloons ran out and he drowned.

When you get down to it, clowns are bloody vicious bastards really...
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