Paul and the dragon

Once again, ridiculous tragedy has befallen me. Outside, in my back garden, a giant, fire-spewing dragon has taken up residence. Its not really causing me any trouble at the moment - I tend to send out a sheep for it to eat every day, and it seems pretty content with that (The dragon, that is. The sheep are generally discontent with the whole plan.) However, with Spring approaching, I really want to tend to my vegetable patch, and the over-sized lizard is camped out on top of it. To this end, I hired a group of reputable dragon-slayers to help me out. When I first read their advert - located as all good adverts are; in a phone-booth - I thought the spelling mistakes and crude punctuation were to make the advert more 'olde-worlde'ish. However, it was not. Despite their claims to be able to "tame the giant serpent", these so-called dragon slayers were hideously incompetent. They claimed to be able to make the dragon "Spew its fire until it could spew no more", but in fact, they were burned alive within seconds of trying. And to make things worse, since the dragon is taking up my whole back yard, I have no-where to bury the bodies.
 I'm running out of sheep now. Max is coming 'round later... I wonder if he tastes like mutton?

Mary checked the blinds. It was no good, it was still out there, watching her.
Slowly, she crept to the phone, but the wires had been cut. In a typical, cliched manner, her mobile battery had died five minutes ago. There was only one thing for it, she would have to make a run for it. If she was lucky, she could make it to one of the farm vehicles - the jeep was nearby, and she had the keys. Then, she could escape and find help in the village. But deep in her heart, she knew it would be no good - everywhere she went, it was sure to go.

She ran. Fleece white as snow, the lamb burst from the shrubbery and gave chase. She knew she couldn't escape, it would follow her anywhere - even school!