A Poem

Last night, rain poured onto the streets.

A lone seagull cried in the distance, his echo adapted by the nearby birds.

Filling the streets, consuming the night air, the cries continue.

The word is spread.

But then, a hero. A man for silence steps into the sound.

Drunkenly, sprawling upright. He cries out for silence.

The gulls answer him nought.

"Cawww!" He yells. He jumps and stamps and squeals.

Imitating his out-loud oppressors.

"Caww!" "UuuWW! UwwwwWWH!"

He calls out. "How'd you like that? Annoying, isn't it?"

But they answer not.

He stumbles home. Silence reigns.
For tonight, victory is his. That will keep him dry.

Image via Wikipedia

Hating Predators is like being racist or homophobic.

You get a lot of people saying, "They killed and skinned

PREDATORS living in urban areas are
at their most aggresive, ripping open
gang members and physically attacking
Danny Glover.

Apollo Creed" but this isn't really a big thing in the grand
scheme of things.
    Predators could have been on this world for 20 million
years. That's a lot longer than cities.
    And, if you think about it, the amount of predators on
this planet is nothing if you think about the amount of
people they've killed over the years.
    They are here and they have been here for a long time,
and it would be a tragedy if they disappeared from the
skies.
    I don't really understand the distinction between jungle
and urban Predators.
    The urban environment arrived a long time after
Predators. They would not choose to live there, if it were
not for the vast amounts of potential prey.
    What right have we to judge how they find sport?
    Just because they are not as pretty as some other
aliens, and commit a lot of murders, this does not give us
the right to hide in mud and kill them.
    More often than not, it is the human "behaviour" that
drives Predators to their aggressive behaviour. Often, the
 choice of humans to sport weapons or not be pregnant
drives the Predators to aggressive action.
    Slowly there appears to be a move towards attacking
Predators, such as shooting them with shotguns or
attacking them with muscular men.
    However, the Predators do not chose to act in ways
that disagree with humans. Like being gay or Mexican,
Predators do not choose to be Predators. Instead, they
are born Predators. Indeed, if it were not for the fact that
humans choose to have heads and attached spinal
columns that make such good trophies, it seems unlikely
that we  would even be bothered by Predators.
    So, the next time you encourage the actions of men
like  Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny Glover, Adrien
Brody, and  whoever was in the AvP movies,
remember; Predators don't choose their nature. So if
you're going to defend yourself from one of these
creature's fearsome plasma caster, ask yourself, "would
 I eat a Mexican gay woman?". If the answer is "No!",
as it should be, maybe you should just accept your fate.
   After all, better that than being some sort of
alien-hating speciest.

Also available on Bukisa

Hating seagulls is like being racist or homophobic

I stole this from Iced Tea and Sarcasm. I don't even know where it's from originally. Oh well.

Ok, so I seem to have been getting a lot of traffic from people interested in the whole hating seagulls being like racism or homophobia, so I feel I should offer an opinion. Since this is a blog, I've decided that rather than reading the article and writing a balanced, considered response, I've decided to make uniformed commentary. On one level, hating seagulls simply for being seagulls is, of course, speciesism, (or something). And I suppose it is comparable - hating all seagulls because one defecated on your grandmother is like hating all black people because one... defecated on your grandmother. Or whatever. But there are differences - in my unnecessarily scatological analogy, an entire race was judged on the actions of one person. However, seagulls do shit one things, indiscriminately. So it's not a prejudice; it's based on fact gained from experience, not assumptions made without study. However, the main issue is, I suppose, the hate of seagulls for being something they couldn't help but be. At the end of the day, we have to remember that no-gull chooses to be a seagull.  Maybe we should say no to hate, and the next time we're pooped on from up high, remember that it wasn't our flying friends' fault.

Now, where to I sign up to get those Mallards? Bloody queers.

Festive cheer

To remind people it is the festive season, and cheer them up now Christmas day has passed, I've mailed all of my friends little presents. I won't spoil the surprise for them, but let's just say they should be on the lookout for a frozen seagull with a stamp stuck to it!