and I was not expecting visitors. However - and whoever they were - they were insistently hammering my door. I decided it would be best to find out what they wanted.
Upon opening the door, I was greeted by an unfamiliar site. I looked closely, and found it was several fish of different sizes, in an old-fashioned diving costume full of water. They nodded curtly as one, handed me an official looking envelope, and barged into the house. Before I had a chance to open the letter, a team of deer pulling a wheelbarrow of rubbish came arrived. I followed them into my living room, where they had already ripped up the carpet. As I watched, the emptied the rubbish into my floorboards, before replacing the carpet over it.
I mounted the small, carpeted mound in the middle of my room, noting sadly that it would obscure my vision of the television when I was sitting on the sofa. Now that things were calmer, I opened the letter. Apparently, nature had decided to clean up.
I didn't get any further before I became aware of running water. Rushing to the bathroom, I found the fish had flooded the room, and were frolicking happily. I left the house, and headed down the street. First, I would get a new toaster, then I'd sort them out...
Behind, two bears revered a truck up to the wall, and proceeded to dump a load of nuclear waste through my kitchen window.
Remember kids, don't fuck with nature.
Showing posts with label nature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nature. Show all posts
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Friday, 12 September 2008
For days, we co-existed peacefully. Sure, we were a little distrustful of each other, but i assumed that would pass with time. Then, last Saturday afternoon, two of the wasps started to poke my house with sticks. Before i knew it, they'd gotten a hose out and totally destroyed my home. Nature's a bitch
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