Happy Easter...

I grabbed the shotgun and headed for the door. Around me, crowds of rabbits recoiled in fear. Outside, two children with baskets of eggs and faces full of fear huddled on my doorstep.
 "Get in!" I yelled, pulling them into the house hastily. Throwing a worried glance around, I locked the door, and double-checked the window barricades.
 Outside, it is Easter. The reanimated corpse of our Lord and Saviour ambles through the countryside, feasting on eggs, rabbits and all who stand in his way.
 Darkness falls, and I prepare to get through the night. Arming the children with whatever was at hand and telling them not to open the door for anyone but me, I set off into the country. There's talk of a colony off-land, where Jesus cannot reach. As for myself, I'm going to see if I can get petrol. If we can get moving, there might be hope. Every year, it's getting worse, I tell you.
 Well, at least I'm not Jewish...

I have several Easter Eggs left over from Easter. They would make perfect gifts for this year, so if you're interested in buying them, give me a call!

Santa... Doesn't feature in this post

It's nearly Christmas! soon I can celebrate a story I don't believe in by pandering to the spoiled desires of children forced on me by a greedy, capitalist society!
I prefer Easter, where we eat chocolate to celebrate a man dying because he wanted people to get on and coming back as a zombie.