common misunderstandings

"Hey dear, could you take out the bin?" my fictitious wife called from the living room.
With a sigh, I rose from the sofa. Thank God for the pause feature on Sky+, or I'd be missing Jeremy Kyle. Bastard that he is. I headed towards the kitchen, stopping on the way to pick up my shotgun.
By the time I got back from dumping the remains in the river, my wife and all her belongings had vanished.
That's 3 now...