Exciting Adverts for Mundane Products, volume one...

I mean, really? Does it make you want to by a crisp, white notepad?

Advertising.

Got a product you want advertised? Then look no further! For only $9.99, yes, $9.99 - That's 9 dollars, 99 cents! - Get your product advertised to several - yes, literally several - people! For this price, and no additional costs, I will tattoo your product advertisement onto a private part of my body, before flashing it at passers-bye! Worried you won't get enough publicity? Don't! I'll shout about it really loudly as well! Only $9.99!
Why work in Pounds Sterling when you could have dollars... The symbol is like an S, for God's sake. S!

OK, so maybe I'm not onto something here, but it's worth a try. Besides, you though it could work for a minute, didn't you? It was the exclamation marks, wasn't it? They install confidence...