Religious callers?

I've developed a new hobby, namely annoying those surreal peoples who appear on my doorstep. It was simple really, based on a strategy I observed some Jehovah's Witnesses engaging in. It wasn't the normal door-to-door thing, I just followed them into Greggs. One had a roll, with chicken I think. The other waited nervously by the door, stepping from foot-to-foot and murmuring like a cartoon character. Anyway, it was then I decided to spend my life sitting in whatever fictional home I'm in at the moment, fully suited and wearing a name badge. Whenever someone knocks on my door now, I tell them about Jesus for several minutes, before leaving them in my flat and going away.
 It's a fun hobby, but rather costly. Similarly, the postman seems to be more popular with my flatmates than I ever was.
 I want revenge...

I knew it had been foolish to leave the door open - there had been reports of bears in the area all week. Now, however, it was too late for regrets. I had to deal with this.
First, I'd tried ignoring the bear. Sitting rigid at the table, I'd made a point of reading my whole newspaper. However, when I finished, he was still sitting opposite, staring intently across the table at me. It was no good, I had to acknowledge him.
I tried to act casually. I smiled at him in what I hoped was a friendly manner. Spotting his opportunity, he leaned across the table.
"Have you heard about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ?" He asked.
I looked at him in confusion. After a moment, he realised I wasn't going to reply. Reaching for the floor, he picked up a briefcase and started to rummage around inside it.
"I have some pamphlets here, you might like to look at them."
I politely declined. He looked rather deflated, and there is nothing more depressing than a sad bear. I made awkward smalltalk for a few minutes, then he left to catch a bus.