Well, it's what everyone's talking about...

So, Charlie Brooker and Konnie Huq are to get married. I know this is a newsworthy story, because at least two people I follow Tweeted about it, and it's in the Daily Mail. (I realise this probably means little to non-British readers. Who cares, this is a blog. I'll do the important things: getting angry about issues that don't affect you, and mentioning Hitler)
 "The most unlikely showbiz wedding?" is the headline the Mail runs this story under. Well, no, probably not. Discarding many other showbiz weddings that are or were unlikely and actually occurred, I'd say the most unlikely romance would be between the reanimated remains of Marlon Brando and a horse. The Mail, unable to understand how two people who seem different can possibly form a romance, continues with several comparisons - Miss Huq, of course, rose to fame hosting children's Show Blue Peter, giving her a nice, family-friendly appearance. Brooker, in comparison, says some nasty things about TV shows and celebrities, using words you wouldn't say to your grandmother.
 So what we have here is in fact, a simple case of two people who have opposing screen personas. Wow, how could these two people ever get along? Actually, I don't think the Daily Mail likes Charlie. It does go on about his "foul-mouthed" shows a lot, and his dropping out of college, without once mentioning that he won Columnist of the Year at the 2009 British Press Awards, for instance.
 So, to once again distance myself from the Daily Mail in whatever way possible, I offer the best of luck to Charlton and Kanak, and to anyone else out there getting married.
 Unless you're a Nazi of course. In which case, I'll have to borrow some words from Brooker himself, and tell you to go away.
 And die. You're worse than Hitler. God, you people make me sick...

I bought the Daily Mail today. Unsurprisingly, it tasted like cow vomit, even with the addition of salt and vinegar.
However, the coupons made for a few minutes amusement. I like to cut them out and glue them to immigrants. I think the Mail would be proud.

Unlike anything else here, this story is a work of fiction. Please, please, please don't go 'round thinking I buy the Daily Mail. Or even the Mail on Sunday. Is it worth whoring your values for £10 off things you don't buy at Tesco? You tell me...